Friday, May 16, 2008

The thing about drugs is how normal I feel when I first take them which shows just how uptight and stressy Ive been.  My breathing is slow...all day long I hold it so tight, god it feels good there has to be some kind of major change where I can spend time adequate time for deep relaxation.  

fading fast. I cant even tyepe....

19 comments:

Deirdra Doan said...

Hi Suzi, RV's are so cool! I have a Road Trek. Class A It is small but get good mpg that way. Love to see you in Oregon and take your class.

Yes Yes we want Suzi in the Artful blogger cause you are the best Artist blogger yet!!!

I have been through so much Drama too this past month!!! But I am learning so much....and getting to the bottom of issues with a certain kind of woman that repeats my Mother deep seated early years stuff....

Loved your puppet show....I think I need to do one for myself....

The Children's book conference was very Good but I meet a wolverine teacher that was suppose to be a Puppy...oops...learning too...you are so inspiring.

Your painting of the puppy's were so cute...

Yea I am getting Massage for my Chi..he said I really need it...the body tells on you..body breath....sweet dreams.

Michelle LaPoint Rydell said...

Suzi - this worries me - are you alright???

Maureen B said...

ok- WTF girl?

suzi blu said...

just took a mild sleeping pill because my cramp pain was so severe. I had tests and its ok, just a cyst and not a dangerous one, but it hurts like holy hell when I get my period. which I have. Like someone is gripping my ovaries with two hands and I can't breathe. So Melissa gave me one ambian cr and I was able to go to sleep.

I feel better right now, just woke up. But like I wrote last night, man, I need to make relaxation just as important as everything else. what a difference I noticed almost immediately. I want to be relaxed. I want to be relaxed.
dont ever worry! I dont drink or anything and a mild sleeping thing in extreme emergencies is as wild as I get (these days).

<3 <3 <3

Maureen B said...

ahhhh- I totally understand. Cyst = major ouch. Yes, learning to relax would be nice... how do you do that?
I try to tell myself I'm not tense, but like you said something happens and you get a glimpse of how tense you really are. hmmmm.

Moonsown said...

Ow, Suzi, I feel your pain! I had an unknown cyst rupture one time while in the tub ... sudden piercing pain and blood in the water ... I thought maybe a bullet had come through my apartment wall, really felt as though I'd been shot.... it's hard to believe our own bodies can do that to us.

I'm with you, I believe that our bodies are telling us things if we'll listen. You've been through a lot of stress lately, emotionally and physically. You do need to relax, or something heavier will come your way so your body can reaaaally get your attention.

deep, deep breath for you, and sleep as much as you can, with some nice slow walks with Lu when you can manage it. A slow cup of tea, listening to Pooh's breathing (every cat is a zen master).

All your online peeps seem to be mid-drama right now, or just past. Are we in a cycle, or what? I don't believe in coincidence ... just as I think your body sends you messages about what to do, I think our universal body sends us warnings too. Darned if I know what it means, though! Those big messages are harder to figure out.

I had an awful dream last night that I had invited drama into my life and it was affecting my husband and kid in evil ways... I woke up shaken and feeling defensive. And aching all over, too, as though my Lupus is going to flare and stick me in bed for a week. Going to go exercise, (release the toxins) volunteer at the Nature Center, (selfless acts for the universe) feed a friend's puppy, (support someone I care about) then schedule in some quiet meditating time (cleanse the mind) because there's something un-good stirring here under the surface.

Then I'm going to paint and try to get rid of any dregs.

Here's hoping for healing and peace for all of us, and all the world. Because our thoughts and intentions count, so I'm thinking
PEACE.... REST .... HEALING....

Lisa said...

Relaxation is so important. Sometimes when we work at home, we forget to take real breaks. Meditation is so important for me. As soon as I allow myself to go without it, I start getting tense and stressed. Lotsa love. xoxox

shorka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mccabe said...

sending you gentle healing, sweet suzi.

i get terrible cramps as well and disappear for a week each month. no fun, no fun.

do you have a hot water bottle? mine does wonders. (can't live without it) that and my crampy belly rub oil by little moon essentials.

take care of you,
mccabe xx

Mudfrost said...

First post here but I've been visiting for a while.

Good to know you're ok, Suzie. Your last post was a little disturbing -- a bit unlike you.

That said, I like the photo! The dark side of Suzieblu. We all have that side, right? Indeed.

Contrast. As in painting, it's necessary.

Love your style, Suzie.

suze said...

Sorry you are feeling crampy(crappy?) Take care of yourself...take the weekend off. Do something fun for yourself.

Nina said...

We ARE all connected. Severe nightmares of rejection -- which makes sense since I'm getting divorced:-), but since it's my choice........these nightmares are something additional.

I feel a dark drawing coming on.........

Sue, that cyst has been a PITA for awhile. I've never had one. Nothing to do about it?

Diane said...

Hi Suzi,
Sure hope you're okay. We all care about you out here. I did read your response but I'm still feeling a little uneasy about your post...you make all of us so happy with your wonderful videos and paintings and we just want YOU to be happy too!

Lorianne said...

Don't work, play :)

Michelle LaPoint Rydell said...

Thanks for responding Suzi! Peace to you my friend - I hope you feel better soon. YOu are in my thoughts.

xo
Michelle

anni said...

Suzi,

If you want great relaxation, try a hypnotherapist. I know that sounds a little crazy, but I went to one on the advice of a friend when I was going through my divorce. I was very thin, not eating for about a year from the depression. This hypnotherapist relaxed me and took out all my stress. It was WONDERFUL! It cost $40.00 per visit, but I would have gladly paid more for the result. I started to eat healthy again.

After a couple of visits, she gave me a tape and a book (oh, you can get a book too about self-hypnosis). I play the tape with headphones when I need to calm down, relax, and center myself.

It is amazing. I would make sure you get a good recommended hypnotherapist though. You never know about some wolves out there.

Anni

Mudfrost said...

Your follow-up photo is equally cool. Well done.

ironbru1 said...

a podcast called meditation station by Stin Hanson
has great relaxation meditations I listen to them all the time.I find that my heart rate slows down really quick when listening and that's when I realize how fast it was racing.

LuLu said...

Bonjour Suzi! YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON AND WOMAN! Everyone's right, take some time for yourself. The trick about relaxation is to totally detach yourself from the present moment and ride the wave slowly. Same for pain... The good side to it is you know it is not dangerous... so you need to go through that phase, then you will come out of it stronger... Keep you head up, Suzi, we are all there for you! LuLu