Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Suzi's sermon from bedland.


It's drying up but I have a little fever. you can see the slight swelling on my cheek. I guess I got a little sick along the way. No video this week I have to rest. but when I feel better Ill make it a super duper one I promise. Today Im gonna shower and read and relax. altho I really want to paint dont you hate that? when your mind is fine but your body wants to quit.

Interesting about the boy with the painting with his poo video - metaphor for shitting on suzi blu. which I find hilarious and creative actually. (metaphorically, Im not into that in case youre wondering) even tho man i dont ever want to see that again...how interesting that someones vulnerability/happiness is so threatening to another person that they must try to hurt that person. right? Like, if someone is miserable, they really dont like to be around happy people. happy people require you to change. The old 'misery loves company' deal is true because if Im sad and doing nothing about it and you are sad and doing nothing about it - we both stay in our comfort zones and dont have to actually do anything about our sadness. It is easy to stay sad. (not fun mind you. no one really wants to be sad.) Its quite hard to not indulge. (just throw chocolate in front of me and Ill show you how hard. or a fishbOi).

I heard somewhere that God is happy all the time. So, when you are happy, you are aligned with God (i.e. your true nature). We are supposed to be happy we are supposed to live in bliss. Bliss/Love is our natural state. Everything else is delusion/false/misunderstanding.

And to a 20 year old boy mad at the world and without enough heartwrenching experience to make him compassionate toward others, suzi seems polyanic to his world. Lets show her how crappy my world really is! He is crying. literally. for someone to see his sadness to see how bad its gotten for him. But maturity and spirituality would take his situation to a different realm, theyd say yes, it is so bad for me, and suzi shows us that even in the most darkness, hope remains. and you know what, if they put that on my tombstone Id be happy with that. Thats what it comes down to no matter what it is. If you make art and are awkward with the materials, hold onto the idea that you can and will get more control over what you are doing. If you are poor and watch tv on a milk crate, hold onto the idea that you have that wonderful tv and to many people in Africa that is abundance.

Although faith is a stronger word I do believe the first step is hope becasue when we are at our edge faith seems like a lie. Hope is a first step. Its at least an open door with light coming thru it. we dont know if we will get there, but we sure are going to try. and that is the motivating force that will lead you out of darkness. and because I have this hope that eventually I will make my way to the door I have the strength to deal with the fact that right now doesnt feel so good. in fact, the relaxation I feel knowing that someday this pain will be over opens up a place inside me to find some small joy about where Im at now.

Like today. i still have a fever. I have no advil and must drive feeling so shitty and looking so wretched to the store (yes Im vain, insecure mostly that no one will love me if Im ugly)and oh poor me I dont feel good and Im behind on paintings and on and on and on but....

ooh i get to buy a reeces peanut butter cup when Im there and hot cocoa and I get to come back here and go back to sleep and read my book and I can rest and dream for a few days. this is temporary. and if its not and I die from PI poisoning. so be it. I have Lulu kisses and chocolate and you know, and you know, sometimes, that is enough. It can be enough, if we let it.

Its good to want things but its better to find the qualities of what you want in what you already have.

29 comments:

tascha said...

peanut butter cup kisses to you!
(((sending healing vibes)))

bLu eYd YoGi said...

AMEN to that sista-girl! it's all about finding happiness and peace in the NOW ~ eh?
enjoy your REST & peace~
LoVe~
e

Deborah said...

Enjoy Suzi's Adventures in Bedland!

I don't know of any miraculous fast-healing poison ivy remedies, or I would certainly share them with you. Have a great day, cutie!

Judy Wise said...

Amen, Suzi. Yesterday was a down day for me but a trip to the ice cream store made it much better. Sweet love to you. xo

dreamergirl said...

love that last line :)

just found your blog and video's a couple of days ago. You've got me inspired to get messy with paints and stuff again! thanks so much!

read, rest and get better soon!

Silvia

Dee said...

apt response and analysis.

Lisa said...

Wish I lived close enough to make a store run for ya. You are so right about being happy where we are. That all by itself is awesome but there is a miracle in that that draws even more happiness to us. It's an amazing Universe! Rest and enjoy your chocolate. Tomorrow is another day. xoxoxox

dragonflyjourneys4women said...

I think you're right on about the kid who posted that video (which I really DON'T want to see ;D). He's so hurt by the world that he wanted to try to bring you down too. But there's just no way to dent that beautiful soul of yours - thank goodness!! Feel better soon!!

Babytreese said...

You get A BIG AMEN from me Miss Suzi! We have to encourage each other and live a peaceful life no matter who or what tries to bring us down...that's THEIR shiznit!! We have to pray that their life turns around for the better.

Get better sweet pea!

Kimbo said...

Ah Suzi, you are beautiful, spots and all ! Rest and be gentle with yourself. We will all be sending you healing vibes !
Take care,
Kim

Diane said...

Excellent post! I like to think about just living in the now. The past is gone. The future is uncertain. All we really have is today and I plan to enjoy it.
Sending you best wishes. Hope you're feeling better soon! Have some tea, get some rest and you'll be all good in no time at all.

Ellen Lyn said...

Suzi,
Hope you feel better soon!! That PI sucks, when I get it I have to go get a steriod shot--so I try not to get it!! Hey, I got my Byzantia paints on Monday and they are so beautiful! Can't wait for your video when you're up to it.
Hugs,
Ellen

suze said...

Feel better SOON!!!<3

mccabe said...

hello*

this is my first time here, a friend pointed me in your direction and i am hooked. i am sick too today, and feeling slightly crabby...this happy spot has brought me much joy and delight. you are magic!!!

thank you, kindred.

with love
and lots of light,
mccabe xx
www.dancingmermaid.com

angel said...

hi sweetie,
I am so sorry you are feeling sick! I really hope you'll be better soon dear! It's so inspiring, your look on life I mean! You feel like crap but can push something like this out of your fingers onto the web! Thanks for sharing, you are a true and wonderful person!

nanakin1 said...

Sending you healing vibes and thanks from blogland.
Hugs,
Nana (Nancy)

Iris said...

There are so many people in so much pain. I feel so sorry for them, especially the ones that lash out and do the exact opposite of what might make them happy, but at the same time I get annoyed. Annoyed at how selfish pain makes people. Annoyed at how our society wants us to hide our pain away which in turn manifests itself in people being mean or passive aggressive because they are not allowed to just come out and say 'I am unhappy'.

I am learning to see the good things in life. The more I do it, the easier it seems. The sun is out. I work with my boyfriend. I am drinking a Coke. I am seeing my best friend tonight. Maybe these little things don't constitute an amazingly happy life, but I am able to see them, they make me content and I feel lucky.

Feel better Suzi. Whether you post a video, pictures or just a blog post, you are inspiring as always.

Many hugs & kisses (also for Lulu & Pooh!)

Iris

Mandy C said...

i know you feel shitty but you make me feel so much more positive thanx suzi ~ ooohhh sending peanut buttercup kisses to you

Tequitia said...

Hope you feel better Suzi. My kids are carrying the cold bug around and so far I've been dodging it. I hate getting sick, especially when there is nice weather outside.

Annika said...

A BIG HUG from me to wonderful Suzi Blu ;)

Adrienne said...

Suzi - feel better soon. It's amazing that you can still write so well while feeling like crap. Shows your intestinal fortitude. Much love and thank you for all of your inspiration. Eat as many Reeses as you want. They don't count if you are sick. Swear.

Colorado Boomer said...

try some good old fashioned benadryl generic orally and hydrocortisone cream topically--both in drug store with no prescription--if it sounds like medical advice, it's because it is--I am a pharmaist

Colorado Boomer said...

Forgot to tell you to use the cream 3 times a day sparingly, and the benadryl can make you sleepy, but it sounds like you need some good sleep! Hopefully you will feel better..and I can spell pharmacist, somehow my fingers went flying on the keyboard.

LuLu said...

Suzy, Anytime I come down with a fever or a sore in my mouth, it is a signal that I need to slow down and rest. It is like my body is shouting to me: COOL DOWN THE PACE SWEET MAMA! As simple as that! So take all your time and enjoy the obligation of doing nothing but munch, read, vege out and sleep. Nothing like a break! Once you are through with this, you will be at your bestest best! Take care, LuLu

Trine said...

OMG....you poor baby. You look so miserable...I mean in a totally glamorous way of course. Maybe you could get an interesting painting out of it...the evils of the natural world and all. Hmmmm
Livin on the edge!!!!
Your art has been fantastic. I'm in a bit of blah period. PPPLLLUUUUUHHHHHHHHH
Love ya Suz!!!!

magicalmuse said...

Chocolate cures everything. I hope you feel better soon. I think there's some cosmic icky thing going on right now that is causing everyone problems. I like your outlook on hope. Hang in there.
http://www.magicalmuse.typepad.com

Donna said...

Beautifully said, Suzi! Hope you feel better soon...chocolate and good books in cozy beds and puppy kisses are always good therapy! =)

Hugs!

turquoise cro said...

Love the sermon and those puurrrrrty purple pillows! HOPE YOU are feeling better by now!!!((((Suzi Blu)))))

a simple offering said...

secret of life, right here!