Since there will be no video this weekend I am leaving
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Since there will be no video this weekend I am leaving
I can't tell you how much working on an easel has made a difference.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
sorry Ive been pissy but, you know.
Im sending samples off to a publisher and hopefully they will love me and want my book. I cant show you anything but you can wish with me right? Wish I wish I wish I wish I could pub a great book then go on a book tour and make out with 100 goddesses. good right? ha. Or maybe just one fish boy. I haven't made up my mind yet.
Pooh is eating fancy feast but only certain ones he likes. like turkey. I must go out and get him more. I hAte going out this late at night because its cold.
Here is another dog video. None of the animals in these videos are mine - youll know it when I get my dog. I cant afford the french bulldog, its nearly 3,000 dollars did you know that! I am more than likely going to save a little white mutt from its untimely end.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
So I heard there was a rolled up 20 on the floor and so theres that, which is good cause I can write him off as a coke head and not be sad. being sad sucks. crying sucks. Im done with it. Lets be mad at him instead. Helena Christiansen was interviewed saying she was supposed to see him that day and WHY IS THIS CHICK involved with everyone who eventually dies young? Like Michael Hutchence for instance. Remind me never to sleep with her.
But Im still sad. Look how we think someone beautiful and talented and smart has it all together. They dont. We are all equal. Running around without our heads trying to do it all so that we will have enough fill in the blank to make us happy. All the while your life just keeps going and eventually your body says fk it I cant keep up with you. No one has it all together and even if they do - their body is slowly falling apart. So there is that.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Tomorrow Im buying a freaking easel.
A boy that good looking dying for no good reason
I deserve a god damn easel.
I prop boards and canvas against a book shelf and I paint a little
then it falls off the edge. so then Ill move it and lean it against the
windows but the madness has got to stop.
I am painting full time=I get to buy an easel.
Im pretty sad. At first I wasn't but Ive been crying off and on.
I really dug him. He made stupid movies in between the good ones,
I rented Casanova just last week cause hes just so nice, was so nice,
to look at. Perfect jaw, Like Alexander the Great.
And he tried to be normal he'd walk around new york and didnt act
like a movie star.
and so pooh wont eat I dont know what to do.
I tried babyfood, it worked for 2 days then he refused.
bought fancy feast and he loved it! Then refused it.
Now he refused this other brand I bought. and hes drinking
more water. thats not a good sign.
pooh has kidney failure if you didn't know. I give him IV fluids every other day.
he still plays and acts normal so its not the end but
I dont know why he wont eat. or what he wants to eat.
When people die nothing feels real and I
pace the apartment and cant seem to hold onto anything.
you cant really hold on to anything.
but the painting is going well so there is that.
I wanted to tell you.
Starting the last Sunday of every month there will be a journal video.
with an assignment- you then will have 3 weeks to send me a jpg of your journal page (that completes the assignment lesson not just any journal page) and I will add it to a montage that will showcase your work at the end of the next journal video, cool?
So all of this starts this sunday afternoon.
Its so cold out there but I need a shot of mocha latte and a boston creme doughnut.
I want to assault myself with sugar.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Oh what will it be this evening, hmmm? A small 4 bite sized entenmens chocolate cake? a heated cherry pie? A crumb/pound cake combination. My god dear girls, and fishboy, it will be one of them.
Before I go out to purchase more love handles, first I want to leave you with this thought - we all have much in common. Although one can be a lawyer and another housebound because of sickness to her bed - most of us have been creatively damaged. And wow if that isnt apparent in a comment i received the other day about how my paper dolls could be better if I put the arms underneath the dress instead of on top. This is a wonderful example of what to do as Goddess Ambassadors who are not mere mortals with egos to get bruised but JUICY ladies (and fishboy) who can spot a wounded creative soul from a mile away.
Wounded souls need for things to be the same - to be predictable - and impressive. They want high brow art, the kind that looks photo realistic, and compare other types of art to be lesser in importance. Now, this wounded soul was more than likely earnestly trying to help me from embarrassing myself and educating me in the proper way to make a doll. But this is the point, here, I have one, Im getting to it, wait for it....what is sad is that she could not even for a minute even for the funnest puppet show EVER, just enjoy little figures without improving them! I liked how the arms were sticks. Hell they didnt have hands! Why then, if a puppet doesnt have hands, why should the rest of their anatomy be correct? It doesnt. of course. and how much more fun when it doesnt. How unexpected. arms, like sticks! Poking into the air like disco fever riga-mortis freaks!
Trying to control anothers artwork, trying to make everyones art, and yours included, as the most perfect it could possibly be, is a symptom of a much scarier problem. It all goes back to zen and living in the moment. WHATEVER is given to you, poopie, here, not feeling so well, eating only baby food (meat flavor is his fav) and having a bit of a parkinsons shake now and then, this is my moment. I cant change it. I cant save him. His time is not over but over is somewhat near. Things will probably get worse.
Im saying that your art, your cat, your roommates dirty dishes, yes, yes, life is not about sitting under a tree and taking no action - you take your cat to the vet, you have a discussion with your slob ass roommate, but at some point you must accept WHAT IS without thinking it needs to be differently. You can wish you painted like Rembrandt. Thats fine. you can even practice to be like him, but appreciate where you are right now just as much. and that is what I mean. Dont keep trying to perfect your lives or other peoples lives. Its ok my black sweatpants are covered in cat hair and that I have little nail bitten nubs jetting out from my palms. Its the way it is and damn it, it sure beats living under the dirt. right?
yay for making anything at all. for having the energy to pick up a red crayon and scribbling. cause damn it you CAN.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I simply HAVE to go out and buy cinnamon buns - the kind you pop in the oven and get all warm. I havent had them for years. my fondest memory of them are when mom took me to the Delicious Orchards - a giant place is Cults Neck New Jersey that sells specialy gourmet yummies. and after our food shopping we would get two trollie doughnuts (long thin cinnamon buns) and a glass of cold apple cider and eat before we paid.
I think I happened upon a cinnamon bun picture today and thats what sparked the interest. at midnight by defenses are low and im rather hungry. Oh but its so cold outside I must want them pretty badly! I will put on a hat and scarf and get them anyway.
Does anyone know....if iWeb can upload to a website that is not on mac.com or is it just for that? I have a website - suziblu.net - that I used to manage thru microsoft frontpage and I cant do that now. Id like to work on the site tho and make it slammin. I have no idea how though without that (shitty) program.
I feel slightly bad too because many of my YT fans are under 5 years old and altho they love my puppets perhaps I might go a bit overboard in the future. I want to, I can feel it brewing. Its just a matter of time before the Sicilian princess of potty mouth spews forth some word like VIBRATOR or ANAL PROBE. you know? and oh those little 5 year old faces. I can see them now. I told one you tube mom that if that should happen I will put a warning even before the theme music begins.
off to get the buns!
nothing says love like hot buns!!
Monday, January 14, 2008
But alas...the PC sucks. When you have a file over 100MB you need to upload vids thru a special uploader that only works with Windows - hence having to drag out the piece of shit and use that and OF COURSE there are problems because PC's suck very badly. They do.
Stay tuned for Le Petite Puppet Theater's very first performance later today!
I want to put a picture into the background of my blog - not just color - can anyone tell me how to do that?
Friday, January 11, 2008
I didnt realize it was midnight. I was all ready to put a movie in and relax thinking its like 10. Im still going to watch a movie. I deserve it. I painted for 3 straight days and i mean straight, I slept of course, but nothing else. my back ACHES. I have so little room here to do such a big painting. I will take proper pictures of it tomorrow when the sun comes up and there is more light.
the movie i have is excellent. its small vignettes about 9 different womens lives, its called
Thursday, January 10, 2008
go to CHAT ROOMS
my room is suziblu
I will be there at 8pm EST and chat will be for one hour.
its a better format altho Im still not sure we'll be able to hear each other. I did buy a headset though so we'll see. I was supposed to go on Paulette Insalls live chat tonight but alas, I keep loosing the emails. I painted today straight up until 5 mintues ago. my back HURTS. but you know, I dig painting big. I do. bigger is better. I still need to beeswax it which will probably take a whole hunk of wax.
Im gonna shut my eyes for a few minutes.
I'll see you at 8!
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
In case you ever have to get an ultrasound because of painful periods, this is what you can expect. I had to drink 4 8 oz glasses of water before my appointment and HOLD IT while a woman pushed on my stomach with a cold plastic thing dripping of lube. That was the worst part since test 2, albeit weird at first, felt a lot better. Since she was a technician and not a nurse she couldn't insert anything inside of me, but rather handed me a VERY LARGE plastic, um, phallic shaped, long device ,for me to insert. This is test two. With which she then manipulated, very slowly, around my (cervix? These terms are not in my daily vocabulary and having never given birth I do not know my insides very well) looking to see if there are cysts and things that should not be there. This was not entirely unpleasant.
Big paintings! Bigger than me. This one is for a group gallery show I would very much like to get into. I cant say anything about it yet. just yet. Im making a video for it and will be finished tomorrow evening.
Here is tonights eBay auction
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Visit ISA a wonderful Mixed Media artist living in France at:
Thursday, January 03, 2008
"Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace, and power in it." - Goethe
We think we need permission from others to do or be what and who we want.
We dOnt, of course. Whether other people like, agree, support what we love, it bothers us none at all. oTher pEoples opinIon of you are nOne of your Business!
Let them love you, hate you, talk about you, whisper to their friends..."wow, she's really weird." and you just keep on moving forward. Keep your legs moving. Dont ever stop.
This painting on eBay auction