Oh its saturday.
you know how I feel about the weekends.
Its funny right how everything is a blur and you are so busy you cant breathe and then all of a sudden.....it all stops.....and you still have a lot to do but you dont do it cause YOU JUST CANT LOOK AT ONE MORE MATH PROBLEM...and the cars drive by and you have the red light in the bulb and you just sit and wait to get tired enough to sleep.
a lot is going on, yes. I am selling paintings yes, oh but I sure can feel sorry for myself cant I. Its an easy trap to fall into when Im tired. and.
so no I dont know a lot of people in fact I dont know many really in life, isnt that ridiculous? that a person can be so busy she doesnt meet anyone. ever? crazy.
and normally its fine but eh...I do wish I had a gf to watch bad movies with.
patience. I know. I am grateful I have my lovely art friends here. thank god for that. or Id be half in a bottle of xanex by now : ) No, no, I have been sober for...May 5 was a year, so like a year and a half. I dont escape anymore. Just tea and art supplies and the occasional indie flick.
its just when its quiet like this I feel so very far away.
do you feel like that too?
I always think everyone has a cooler life than me. that I am behind somehow. that even though I do all of this creative stuff, ahhh...so much is missing from my life. It is balance, I know, something I am not good at.