Sunday, August 05, 2007

If there ever was a girl feeling sorry for herself...

It would be me.
Today was day 1 of giving pooh IV fluids at home. in my house. with no nurse. no vet. just me and my friend.
uggghhhh.

It went so well at the hospital I didnt think it would be this difficult at home. I got the needle in fine, but once the fluid starts he just doesnt want to sit there. and we had a handle on him really good. from the neck and behind. He sat so good at the vet. but at home, he knows he rules this place. and 3 times he bucked so hard I had to take the needle out and the last time I didnt get to do it gently...so it bled. oh my god. I cried so hard. I felt so incompetent.

so this week I will bring him outpatient to the vet. have them hold him while I give him the needle. practice with their help one more week. its only 27.00 every other day. whats money for anyway. food? Bah, I need to loose 5 lbs anyway.

I did make a video. I did. up until I had to do this with pooh at 6. it wasnt a great painting though and when I went back to it I realized....it was pretty ugly. so, in my crying, panic state after the pooh fiasco, I painted some more and ended up making something rEally ugly. its like a scary ugly angel and I sanded out some parts too much...its jus disturbing. I wouldnt even wAnt someone to buy it and put it in there home for fear of bad vibes or something. Ill take a pic tomorrow and show you anyway. Its just..very horrible.

and i want to crawl under the covers.
and hide. forever.
I feel like Im never going to be able to do this, have him sit there while he gets a needle. the bag takes like 5 minutes. ugh.

feeling sorry for myself. sorry. usually I like to inspire others...but Im afraid right now I need some luv : ((

bah. and its my birthday this week.
lets just jump off a cliff and get it over with!

goodnight
suzie b.

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